*~*Kara is the BIG number 4 today*~*
This has been a very draining week for us...long and hard. The type that drains your soul.
The election took it's toll on us all, it was just one of those things you wanted to disappear and be gone. I love that I can say it is finished,lol. It was actually surreal to cast my vite. I took a second to breathe in the last moment, before just to really be in that place in time. I touched the screen and it was done. It was a great night, watching to see who would win. I was just enamored with it all. Then, when I knew who the winner was, I had a sigh of relief, knowing we as a country, had spoken, and that a new day had dawned... The after math was very scary and sad for friends I know in the south, because they are black. They had a very hard day, because people there were so cruel and hateful, how sad that is to me, in 2008, we act like freaks. I can only hope that it will simmer, and we can let this man pick up the shattered pieces of this once great land.
We also had to deal with Scott getting laid off, and knowing our struggle to pick up our own lives is going to be tested, yet again. This last 2 years have been so hard and we have had many obstacles to overcome. We almost cracked as a couple in the summer of 2007, because I think it finally hit us so hard, and trying to make it all happen was just so sad knowing the reality of it all. But, after we picked ourselves up~~~TOGETHER~~~ we have grown so much into a united more than ever couple. So, after hitting lows and celebrating highs, I know we will figure this all out, along with all the others in our same battle.
My kids have been ill this week, too, and it has been a test of my weariness, and their's. We have had some very rough nights, because of fevers and coughs, but somehow,I know we are on the mend now. Which brings me to me sick little birthday girl..
Kara is 4 today, and I see the day she was born as clearly as it was today. It was one of those days that you cannot forget as a Mom. I was over due by 2 days, and trying to have a VBAC. I knew in my heart that I could because 3 of my other births were vaginal, and Nick was a c-section, due to trauma on him, not me. It was just doing it that scared me. I was induced,because of my sky-rocketing blood pressure, and with each hour of labor it got more and more intense with pain. Pitocin is nasty and vile, and the contrax are none the less. Afetr being in labor for 10 hrs and writhing in pain I finally said to please give me an epidural. i could bare no more of it. I had it put in and after a few mins mypain was no more, but it was all on one side, so they had me switch side,and it was on that side,lol..so after tinkering with it for an hour, they finally had it goo...a little too GOOD, I could not feel my legs or stomach at all.. it was majorlly odd. Then a few mins later they came in and said my contrax were coming back to back, and I needed to be checked, meanwhile I had felt just a bit of pressure and was waiting for the dr to arrive. ( he had said if I did not have some progress by 9 , we would be doing a repeat c-section) the nurse decided to lift the blanket since he was coming and she jumped back because kara's head was crowning...the Dr was on his way, and as he got his gloves on her head was coming out, and all the while I was feeling NOTHING! he said to give a push and I swear again, I could not feel anything, and prayed I was actually pushing,lol..and the with that one push, my gorgeous little sweetheart was born. She was 7 lbs 12 oz, and just so pretty. I cried like a baby because she was safe and healthy, and I had done it. I had the VBAC I so wanted, the most. It felt like we were walking on clouds, we were just so proud. That first few moments with a new baby is like magic, like nothing I could ever put into words. There is almost a calm over te whole world, for you, as you are there,like God himself is there smiling on you all....
Now 4 yrs have past, and I really do not know how time can be so cruel, she was JUST that baby in my arms nursing for the first time, or maybe that silly toddler teetering around trying to walk...it just flies.All of you with small ones, hug them, kiss them, and know that it really does seem like a blink, and they are teens, I am there now with my oldest who will be 15 next week, the tears will be flowing...but that is for then, not today!
Happy Birthday sweet Princess Karrangton Emelia Anne-Marie!!!!! We love you so~